The Trap Of Assuming Intent

The person driving up the alley was blocking the way, and going the wrong direction. 

I thought, this is a one-way street! what is this knucklehead doing?  I quickly grew angry.

Then I realized...wait, I know who that is...it's my neighbor from just down the street! And immediately the story in my head changed: I noticed myself inventing stories to justify why her action was fine. Oh, she would never do something like this without a good reason.  There's probably an obstacle at the other end of the block, forcing her to come this way.

Our minds have a tendency to interpret the facts in a way that fits our understanding of the world.  I wanted to think well of my neighbor, so I started telling a story that justified her behavior.  Yet it was the same behavior that moments earlier, I had privately vilified.

Interpreting our surroundings with a pre-conceived agenda can make it harder to see the truth about what's going on.  And it inhibits our ability to act responsibly and fairly.

One co-worker asks "when will the project be finished?" and you react with "get off my back, ok?"

Another colleague asks the same question, and (not attributing malice to this individual), you simply answer "let me see...it'll be done by Thursday."

What if you observed other people's actions without assuming you knew their intent?  Imagine how much more empathy and compassion you would have a listener!  And think how much more likely you'd be to find eager partners.