Revealing Your Inner Beauty

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Unexpectedly

          -  Lyrics from “Beauty and the Beast” (in the 1991 Disney film of same name)

“Then somebody bends”. Said another way, “then somebody chooses to be vulnerable”.  

To Belle, initially the Beast was a scary monster – he had captured her father and then imprisoned Belle.

To the Beast, Belle was an intruder disrupting his miserable solitude.

When two people are at odds, it’s often because they don’t really understand the other person very well.

If we could stand in someone else’s shoes, and see what they see, with all the history they have, we would understand why they’re acting the way they are, even if we don’t agree with it.  And by understanding them better, we’re bound to feel closer to them. 

But there’s no way to actually stand in someone else’s shoes, or put them in our shoes.

The solution is to be vulnerable: to allow ourselves to be seen.  To go first. To give the other person a glimpse of what’s like to be in our shoes. 

Beast allowed Belle to see that he was kind and sensitive underneath his gruff exterior. Belle was open enough to reconsider the man despite his past actions.  And they each discovered in the other a person with far more depth than they initially realized.

What does it really mean to be vulnerable?  

• Letting your guard down, allowing others to see your inner world.
• Permitting others to know some of your thoughts and feelings.  
• Being who you really are, even if and especially if it’s the you that you don’t usually show on the outside.

I’m not suggesting you do this at all times in all places. But if you want a chance to be closer to someone, I don’t know of a better way.

A few examples of being vulnerable:

1. Revealing how you really feel – “I was really disappointed when you shared our conversation with Antonio”
2. Asking the question you really want to ask – “can you please explain that again? I’m really confused.”
3. Apologizing sincerely – “I was rude to you yesterday. I’m really sorry”
4. Showing your cards – “I really like you.  Will you go out with me?”