Where Persuasion Begins

Effective persuasion usually ends with some form of talking. But it doesn’t start there.

• We are most persuasive, when we first seek to understand the other.
• We are most influential, when we take the time to listen first.
• We are most likely to be understood, when we care enough to ask “what has you think what you think?”
• We are most likely to change another’s mind, when we first accept it exactly as it is.
• We are most able to reach a hostile person, when we appreciate the source of their anger.
• We are most able to connect with a frustrated person, when we acknowledge the depth of their experience.
• We are most able to inspire another, when we recognize what would have them feel alive.

Motivation, persuasion and enrollment: they end with talking but they begin with listening.

Here are a few questions that may help:

1. Can you help me understand?
2. What's been your experience with it?
3. I’m not sure I follow.  Will you show me?
4. What happened?
5. And then what happened?
6. What do you think about that?
7. What’s your perspective?