It Wasn’t Me…

In my home, the dining area has an overhead light.  The light is controlled by a switch with a tiny lever on the side.  The big switch turns the light on and off.  The tiny lever (a dimmer) adjusts the brightness by sliding up and down. It’s been there since my wife and I moved in.  

I prefer the light to be bright, so I typically move the lever up near the top.  However, in the first month after we moved in, I repeatedly discovered that someone had been moving the slider back down.  That’s strange, I thought.  Stacey must prefer the room a bit darker than I do.  I certainly don’t put it there.

Finally, I asked her… “do you adjust the brightness to be lower, on purpose?”

“No,” she said, “I’ve been wondering the same thing, and assuming you just liked things a bit darker!”

We investigated. In the end, we discovered that each casual downward flick of the hand to turn off the light switch was probably not only flipping the switch down, but also nudging the dimmer lower as well.  Unwittingly, we were both setting the dimmer back to low each time we turned the light off!

How many other places might I be doing the same thing?...thinking there’s no way I’m causing this issue…it must be somebody else.

How often do I…

• Ask a sincere question, fail to recognize how it’s received, then wonder why the other person seems irritated with me.
• Show up 5 minutes late to a meeting, then wonder why we run out of time at the end.
• Instruct my team to do things a certain way, then question the choices they made while trying to follow my request.

These particular examples may not be issues for you.  The point is, we often contribute to our own frustrations in ways we don’t realize.  And the more we acknowledge that we each have a limited view of reality, the more open we become to recognizing the issues and discovering ways to make it better.